How Not to Do Advertising — Ironic Guide to Mistakes

You want to create advertising, so you choose a font. But you don't choose ordinary font — you choose a font that's so complicated that no one can read it. It's like writing a note in a language that no one understands. People pass by your advertising and think: 'What is this? These are hieroglyphs? This is some code?' Your advertising becomes a puzzle, but not a good puzzle — only a puzzle that no one wants to solve. Lesson: use a font that people can read. Simple.

You have great advertising, so you place it in great location. But great location is location where no one goes. It's like opening a store in the desert — you have great product, but no one buys it because no one is there. Your advertising hangs in location where no one passes by, so no one sees it. It's like printing flyers and hiding them in a drawer — great flyer, but no one sees it. Lesson: place advertising where people are. Simple.

You sell coffee, so you place photo of... a dog on advertising. Why dog? Because dog is cute. But what does dog have to do with coffee? Nothing. People look at your advertising and think: 'Is this advertising for coffee or advertising for dog?' It's like selling cars and using photo of a tree — tree is cute, but what does it have to do with car? Nothing. Your advertising becomes a puzzle, but not a good puzzle. Lesson: use photos with relation to product. Simple.

You have great product, so you write great text. But text is so complicated that no one understands it. It's like writing instructions in a language that no one understands — great instructions, but no one understands them. People look at your advertising and think: 'What does this mean? This is some philosophy?' Your advertising becomes a puzzle, but not a good puzzle. Lesson: write text that people can understand. Simple.

You want your advertising to be noticeable, so you use colors. But you use so many colors that they hurt eyes. It's like painting a picture with all colors at once — picture is colorful, but no one wants to look at it. People look at your advertising and think: 'My eyes! This is too much!' Your advertising becomes a puzzle, but not a good puzzle. Lesson: use colors that are pleasant for eyes. Simple.

You sell product, so you are serious. But you are so serious that no one likes you. It's like being a teacher who never smiles — you are competent, but no one likes you. People look at your advertising and think: 'This product is for people without sense of humor.' Your advertising becomes a puzzle, but not a good puzzle. Lesson: be serious, but not too serious. Simple.

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